53 Questions for every Couple!

1. How often do you think married couple should have sex
2. What sex acts do you find offensive
3. How people have you had sex with in your lifetime?
4. How do you feel about abortion?
5. Would you want to abort a baby that was physically or mentally disable?
6. What are you religious views and how realistically do you follow them?
7. What are your views on domestic violence and have you had any issues with it?
8. How many relationships have you had in the past and why did they not work out?
9. What do you think are legitimate reasons for Divorce?
10. How well do you understand Finances?
11. How do you define success?
12. What defines cheating in a relationship
13. How important are the views of outsiders in a marriage?
14. What you like to spend money on?
15. What are your political views
16. How do you feel about race relations?
17. How do feel about Homosexuality
18. Have you ever had same sex relations?
19. What are your pet peeves?
20. How do you define Happiness?
21. What makes you happy
22. Do you think that monogamy is realistic?
23. How do you deal with anger?
24. How well do you communicate and how important is communication to you?
25. How do you feel about lying?
26. What are you views on immigration?
27. How do you feel about friends of the opposite sex
28. How important is home ownership to you?
29. Have you ever been in love?
30. What is love to you
31. What is your relationship like with your parents and other family members
32. How do you deal with disappointment?
33. How do you feel about public displays of affection?
34. What issues or areas of your life are private?
35. How do you feel about discussing relationship issues with others?
36. Do you want or have children
37. Are you now or have you ever been married
38. What does family mean to you?
39. How important is the size or cost of a wedding ring to you?
40. How do you feel about diamonds
41. How important is physical appearance?
42. What in popular culture do you find offensive?
43. How do you feel about people who have different religious or political views?
44. How do you feel about step-children
45. What is your relationship like with your ex?
46. Do you want to be married?
47. What is your past and present relationship with drugs/alcohol
48. Do you think pregnancy should be a reason for marriage
49. What kind of relationship do/did your parents have?
50. Do you believe in a God or a higher power?
51. What STDs have you had?
52. Are you currently in any other relationships?
53. Have you ever been tested for HIV?

Content vs. Culture

A look at Christianity and Popular Culture in the African American Community

Part1

*************This article is in no way singling out any one person but is intended for group discussion!************************************

The number one heated subject I discuss with people is religion; oddly enough the second topic by a razor thin margin is the influences of negative culture on our society especially children of color. It would seem that someone who is in favor of organized religion would be against negative culture. Right? Not so much. I have come to the conclusion that for many of us, Christianity is not in every thing that we do (content) it is our culture meaning we do it without thinking about it.

Last year I received about twenty separate emails warning parents not to let their children watch the movie The Golden Compass because the movie was against Christianity. I thought it was very puzzling that so many people were upset by this movie. Why this movie and not any of the other thousands of movies that are against Christianity? It is because interestingly enough, in our society it is culturally acceptable to do almost anything irreligious except openly question God. It is totally acceptable to show that you do not believe in God by your actions, but just not fine to say so.

What is your zodiac sign? Is it Cancer, Leo, Sagittarius, or Pisces? As a Christian why do you know this? There are few Christians that I know that do not also actively and openly worship other deities (gods). This form of astrology is based on other religions and gods other than Christianity and the God Jehovah. Ouija boards, crystal balls, tarot cards, palm reading and yes zodiac signs are all Occult activities that are culturally acceptable to many Christians? Are these things against Christianity? Where is the outrage? Why are we not equally upset by all things against Christianity?

Hip-hop artist Jay-Z made the statement in his song "Empire State of Mind” that” Jesus can't save you, life starts when the church ends" and people hit the roof! I heard a sermon given by a minister that if you play another Jay-Z song backwards it says “666 Murder Murder Jesus.” What bothers me is what his music says when you play it forward! Now when he was rapping about N-words, misogyny, murder, fornication and flat out debauchery, where was the outrage. Everyday in our culture we listen to and allow children to listen music with vile and vulgar content that goes against everything we say we believe(Christianity). Why is that? Do you know the lyrics to “B@t$H Betta have my Money” by AMG and the lyrics to “Silver and Gold” by Kirk Franklin? How much of music collection is filled with nonsense?

Why is Jay-Z wrong for saying Jesus can’t save you? Does a supposed belief in Jesus really change anything in a person’s behavior? Will it make someone less likely to steal or buy stolen property including bootleg DVDs, boosted clothing or illegally downloaded music? Will it make someone less likely to sell drugs, use drugs or get drunk? Does it make someone less likely to have premarital sex, have children out of wedlock or commit adultery? Does it make you less likely to be a liar, mean, misogynistic, racist, elitist, homophobic, culturally basis or xenophobic? Will a belief in Jesus stop someone from rape, murder, robbery, assault or child molestation? I think the answer is to all of these is no. Is church just a social gathering, are crosses just jewelry, is gospel music just great singing?

Even in comedy the issue of content versus culture is evident. The overwhelming majority of Black comics speak about the same 5 ignorant things that we find Hilarious. They are:

1-say the N-word a minimum of 10 times but as many as 100

2-speak vulgarly about fornicating

3-talk about selling or doing drugs

4-say something incredibly racist

5-followed by saying something positive about God?

And we LOVE it! Turn to your neighbor and say we LOVE it! Why is ignorance and buffoonery funny? Why are things that erode the content of Christianity culturally amusing to us?

Grand Theft Auto is a video game where you carjack, assault, and MURDER people. Why we let children play video games like this is beyond my comprehension. Most people would probably agree that letting children watch XXX rated porn is not suitable, but what about murderous video games? Is that appropriate? I am not referring to military war games where you shoot people in battle, but rather those where a mother is driving to work after dropping off her kids, you pull her out of there car and shoot her in the head. How many of us own games like this? Why is this content acceptable to us?

On Halloween this year I saw a man dressed in 1970’s attire and I asked him what he was dressed up as. He laughingly told me that he was a pimp! Being that I was dressed in my normal clothing, he asked me why I was not wearing a costume. I then told him that I did have a costume on…I was dressed as a Child Molester!!!!! The man was visibly disturbed (as he should have been) and yelled that is was NOT acceptable to even pretend to be a Child Molester. I said when did it become acceptable to pretend to be a Pimp? Why is pimp culture fine for so many of us?

Recently I overheard someone say that our society is in so much chaos because we took God out of the schools. Is that true? The funny thing is that when God was allegedly in the schools also during the period of Jim Crow. God was also in the schools while numbers of African Americans were enslaved during the antebellum period. Why is that? Does our belief in a Supreme Being stop us from being immoral? When the topic for gay marriage hit the ballots box in California an overwhelming majority of blacks voted to deny gays the right to be married because the Bible says that being gay was an abomination.

So at what point did we start following the bible? If the Bible is so holy to us why do we so openly contradict its content? Let’s be real for a moment if we can. The overwhelming majority of unmarried Christians I know fornicate on a regular basis. “Y’all don’t’ hear me let me say that again!” The overwhelming majority of unmarried Christians I know fornicate on a regular basis. I was watching Steve Harvey promote his book “Act like a lady, Think like a Man on television. He talked about his personal relationship with Jesus, as well his three month rule which meant that he would wait three months to get to know someone before having sex with them. That is cool except for the whole sex before marriage issue. Is marriage really that sacred to us? We live together and fornicate up until two weeks before we get married? We have bachelor and bachelorette parties, get drunk and watch (sleep with) strippers right before we get married, we cheat on our spouses and get divorced in record numbers, and we don’t pay any attention to what the Bible is talking about. The sad thing is although it does not have any “Christian” content it is totally culturally acceptable.

We do not want Christian Mexicans to make a better life here because of a man made line that separates us from them? Forget that brother in Christ mess, they are taking our jobs! Right? We have become the same as the people who once oppressed us! Do you know how to really upset a Christian? Tell them to follow the rules of Christianity. Everyone wants to tell you about Christ but no one wants to be told. People say God knows my heart, no one can judge me but God or I’m not trying to be perfect. Is it that we are not trying to be perfect or that we are just not trying?

Post your thoughts below!